Most people try to keep their families out of their relationship business. But some singles, burned out by fruitless searches for love, are handing control of their dating profiles to the people who keep asking why they aren’t having any luck. 

It’s a gamble.

Letting family in on the process injects energy and new perspectives. At the very least, they’ll know how hard it is out there. On the flip side, is anyone really ready for mom and dad to wade in that pool? Then there’s the challenge of reaching consensus.

Danielle’s mom Susan Lovelle prefers career-driven men who don’t make spelling or grammar errors. Danielle’s sister is focused on who can keep up with her adrenaline-junkie hobbies. Her dad looks for signs that a match may butt heads with her headstrong personality, while her brother tries to steer her away from older men. Everyone agrees: Anyone who wants a non-monogamous relationship is off-limits.

“We get a lot of audience participation,” 31-year-old Danielle said.

Few profiles pass all of the tests. Danielle has vetoed some of her mom’s choices. “She’s picking guys who are wearing Gucci and more designer, put-together apparel. And I’m like, okay, but how are they gonna do on a hike?” Danielle said. 

One match, an entomologist, seemed especially promising. But when Susan logged into Bumble to check in, he was gone. 

“My heart was broken,” Susan said, adding that the rest of the family doesn’t know yet. “I think we’re all going to be a little bit hurt.”

Bumble and Match Group, the owner of apps like Tinder and Hinge, are dealing with declines in paid users as singles grow frustrated by what feels like endless swiping and few quality matches.

They’re no longer alone. Some parents are recoiling at the volume of drinking, smoking and shirtless selfies on the apps.

After encountering one too many profiles of men wearing hunting gear or drinking from a handle of liquor, Lilah Vanke’s mom offered to pay for a premium tier of Hinge that comes with more tools to weed out riffraff.

“She’s like, ‘Lilah, this is so discouraging, please let me pay for some sort of filter,’” Lilah said. The 20-year-old has rejected her mom’s offers so far, reasoning her options are already limited in her college town.

Some singles have documented their parents’ disappointment.

Sergio Perera, who previously blamed his daughter for being too picky, ruthlessly swiped left on the stack of profiles who had sent her likes on Hinge in a video she posted to TikTok.

“Substitute teacher? No money,” he said with a sigh at one profile, though he perked up when he saw the guy listed his height as 6’2”.

While he wasn’t impressed at first, Sergio was soon pushing 28-year-old Mariana to be less choosy. When she nearly ruled out a British guy who was slow to respond, Sergio talked her down.

The pair was soon FaceTiming daily before she moved to London for grad school. When he offered her a ride from the airport, her friends urged caution and asked for a photo of his license plate. Sergio was all in.

“My dad’s like, “Go for it, how cute!,” she recalled. “I was like, are you serious? Are you not concerned for my well being?”

They’re now dating. Mariana still fills her dad in, except when he asks if the guy’s a good kisser. 

“I’m like, ‘I’m not answering that, but thank you,’” she laughed.

Swiping through the apps together can also take the pressure off a key dating milestone: meeting the parents.

Catherine Sturgill’s mom helped curate her Hinge profile, pushing for photos that showed she was family-oriented, after encouraging the 29-year-old to get back on the app.

On a date with a golf pro, Catherine confessed it was her mom, Ellen, who urged her to match with his profile. Ellen thought he dressed well, and that his profession would be a hit with her golf-loving husband and son.

Catherine’s date, Jordan, took it as a compliment. “He was like, ‘At least someone’s in my court. Someone’s liking my profile,’” she recalled.

Three days later, he met her parents. Nobody was surprised when he hit it off talking golf with her dad. The relationship is going well and he fits right in with the family.

“He dresses just like my husband,” Ellen said.

Danielle is still waiting for the strategy to pay off.

Over the years, she has tried various methods. She once hired a matchmaker, and recently attended a run club. (She hates running.)

Despite limited success, Danielle hasn’t given up on the apps. Her own brother and sister met their spouses on Bumble, albeit after years of trial and error.

She let her family in on the process back in September at her brother’s and mom’s encouragement. They’ve brought humor to the process and kept her grounded in reality.

“I’m not being blinded by love, if my whole family is like, ‘No, this person is trash, next,’” she said.

She mostly sees the experience as a source of entertainment rather than utility, likening it to an interactive version of “The Bachelorette.”

It’s a contrast to growing up, when she often kept love interests a secret until she knew they would be a long-term partner.

“Now I’m just tired,” she said. “I’m like, ‘All right, here you go, family, you guys can give your blessing.’”