Super Mario is down bad after being publicly placed in the friend zone.

PublishedJuly 26, 2025 10:11 AM EDT•UpdatedJuly 26, 2025 10:11 AM EDT

In case any of you were wondering about the relationship status between Mario and Princess Peach, Nintendo confirmed some very troubling rumors earlier this week.

It would appear as though the man they call "Super Mario" is feeling anything but "super" after Peach officially "friend-zoned" him following 40 years of speculation.

After being introduced in 1985's Super Mario Bros. game for the Nintendo Entertainment System, it was widely accepted that Princess Peach was Mario's love interest.

Most stories would follow a similar beat of "Mario's arch nemesis, Bowser, captures Peach, meaning Mario must rescue her."

So, after four decades of rescuing Princess Peach from the evil clutches of Bowser, this is how she repays the favor? By sticking Mario in the dreaded friend zone?

Just look at how despondent he is after hearing the news!

That is a man who gave his all for a woman, only to have it be for nothing.

We've all been there, Mario. Keep your head up, king.

I am not sure what prompted Nintendo to release this statement and drag our favorite plumber's reputation with the ladies through the dirt, but there are some inaccuracies that need to be addressed.

There are myriad examples of the Jumpman earning the affection of Peach across multiple games in the series.

In Super Mario World for the SNES, Peach kisses Mario while both of them blush.

That hardly looks like two friends palling around after a big adventure.

There are also kisses being planted on Mario in Super Mario RPG, Mario 64, and even as recently as 2017's Super Mario Odyssey.

For Christ's sake, there is a whole compilation of the ending scene kisses between Mario and Peach on YouTube.

Then again, upon further inspection, Peach does give kisses to Luigi and even Toad in some of these scenes.

What the hell, lady?

Maybe Mario is better off being friend-zoned by a strumpet like Peach and finding a wholesome woman who doesn't spread her love all over like the Mushroom Kingdom's answer to Bonnie Blue.

Don't worry about her, Mario!

Just focus on improving yourself and taking part in all those great activities you introduced us to as children, like go-karting or tennis.

Chicks dig an athlete, so maybe if you keep working on that forehand, Peach will come crawling back to you.