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Last Night, Americans celebrated everything awesome about America at UFC Freedom 250. Democrats countered with something called "Rise Up In Gout." I'm not sure why rising up in protest against gout is a counter-protest to America's 250th birthday, or what it has to do with the First Amendment. But as you'll see in the videos I'm about to share, it clearly says to go to "Rise Up In Gout Dot Com" to take action.

It's a shame. Anyone who chose to tune in to hear old people yelling at the clouds missed a great night of fights against an amazing backdrop. Also, the clouds expected to make the weather turn bad and ruin the event, along with mosquitoes, as reported by The Weather Channel, managed to completely bypass the White House. Further proof that God is MAGA. Or that Trump got Netanyahu to use the weather device.

Either way, the two events were a great comparison between two visions for America. For example:

The fact that Bette Midler and whatshisface from those Focker movies were featured makes Rise Up In Gout make a lot more sense. As opposed to younger Americans like Justin Gaethje, who, you see, does not suffer from gout.

Both events had speeches also.

And stunning musical performances. Or, the UFC had stunning musical performances. Rise Up In Gout had whatever the hell this is.

The UFC also had a full seven-match card of amazing fights, all of which ended in either a KO or TKO. But by the time you read this, Paramount will have had all X-Twitter posts playing clips removed, so it seems silly to embed them. You'll have to take my word for it.

I could not think of a better side-by-side comparison of the two Americas than what we saw Sunday night. One side has patriotism and Americana in their heart. The other side has gout. Choose the America you want to be a part of.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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