Order Jamie Glazov’s new book, ‘United in Hate: The Left’s Romance with Tyranny, Terror, and Hamas’: HERE.

From the Department of Ridiculous Defenses: In the UK, an Iranian Muslim migrant, accused of raping an English woman, asserted he could not have done it because of what he called his “micropenis.” The jury did not buy it, and he was convicted. More on this preposterous defense can be found here.

An asylum seeker who tried to rape a woman in an alleyway claimed he did not commit the act due to his “micropenis”.

Hossein Mohmoudi, a 35-year-old Iranian asylum seeker, was convicted of attempted rape last week after dismissing his claim that the medical condition rendered him incapable of committing the offence.

Mohmoudi had argued that his allegedly small penis, combined with obesity, made it physically impossible for him to carry out such an attack.

The defence presented various health factors, including low libido attributed to smoking and depression, as evidence that he could not have assaulted the woman.

However, consultant urologist Dr George Fowlis provided testimony contradicting these claims, informing the court that Mohmoudi’s anatomy was “normal”.

The man was convicted by a jury at Snaresbrook Crown Court and now awaits sentencing next month….

Mohmoudi had accumulated a substantial criminal record before arriving in Britain, having been convicted twice of assault and on three occasions for criminal damage during his time in Germany….

When did British authorities learn of Mohmoudi’s “substantial criminal record”? Apparently, they did not know about it until after he was given asylum. There is a lesson here: Europeans need to share with each other the criminal records of all would-be migrants in their countries, so that those deciding whom to admit can readily consult this information.

Mohmoudi has been living for more than a decade, since leaving Iran in 2014, on welfare benefits provided in three European countries and Turkey, sampling what they provided for illegal migrants, before reaching the UK, where he believed the cornucopia of benefits on offer to migrants was larger than those offered anywhere else.

Hossein Mohmoudi was also a smuggler of illegal migrants into the UK. How much did he make from that unsavory profession? And where did he hide the money so that he was provided with free public housing in a London hostel?

Speaking via an interpreter, Mohmoudi acknowledged he had been using a fetish website the day before the incident, claiming it was “helpful for my English language”.

Yes, what better way to improve one’s English than to “use” a sexual “fetish website”? “Use” it, that is, to arouse himself and his putative tiny penis. But no doubt the site’s images excited Mohmoudi so much that mere masturbation did not satisfy him, and the very next day, tiny penis and all, inspired by that fetish site, he stalked for three miles, and then rapidly raped with the fierce urgency of now, an English woman.

The prosecutor responded: “There are other ways to improve your English…”

Defence barrister David Harounoff contended that the 27-second duration was insufficient time for his client to have attempted rape given his purported medical difficulties.

But those “purported medical difficulties” — that “tiny penis”— did not exist. British urologist Dr. George Fowlis testified in court that Mohmoudi’s anatomy was “normal.” Mohmoudi’s penis was not, in fact, “tiny.”

Evidence also emerged that Mohmoudi had applied to become a sperm donor, with the court learning he had received correspondence from a sperm bank regarding his application.

I trust that the sperm bank turned down a sperm donation from this man with his defective intelligence.

Hossein Mohmoudi will be sentenced next month. He’s already served a ten-month sentence for steering that migrant-smuggling vessel into an English port. But the rape conviction is much more serious, and the judge, now aware both of that previous prison sentence and the criminal record that Mohmoudi accumulated in Germany, will not be in a lenient mood. He’s likely to throw the book at him, with many years of prison time, after which he must be deported back to Iran.

There is no reason why British taxpayers, who will be paying dearly for his incarceration — in the UK, the average cost to house a prisoner is $74,000 a year — should continue to pay for Hossein Mohmoudi when he is finally released. Send him home, tiny penis and all.