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“Mommy guilt” often turns into action.

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Parents tend to give most to the causes that reflect their fears.

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Stigma doesn’t stop money from moving.

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When guilt meets cash flow, children’s charities often benefit.

BRIEFING

Sloane here. A long-running holiday toy drive in Portland has quietly become one of the most effective sources of Christmas gifts for hospitalized children in the nation. It isn’t your typical toy drive. This one involves strippers, and before anyone rolls their eyes too far back in their head, there is more going on here than just shock value. Time to dive in.

For more than a decade, the fundraiser known as Tatas for Toys has delivered thousands of toys and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for pediatric care programs. The attention surrounding it may be new, but the impact isn’t. These women have been giving back to their community in a way that has produced real results for sick kids who would otherwise spend the holidays without much to open. So, that’s a good thing. No argument there.

So why is are these ladies so giving (pun not intended)? Well, it’s worth noting that many of the women involved are mothers, so it’s understandable that kids would be a focus. But there’s also another likely side to the coin: guilt.

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In professions that carry certain stigmas, especially ones like sex work that collide with traditional ideas of motherhood and family, guilt isn’t uncommon. So, if you ask me, it wouldn’t be surprising if some of this child-focused giving comes from a need to balance tension and to give back as a way to feel morally grounded. A 2023 study found that about 14% of strippers are single mothers.

But look, at the end of the day, motivations can be mixed and still produce good outcomes. Whatever combination of generosity, empathy, responsibility, or guilt is at play here, the result is the same. Kids in hospital beds received toys, comfort, and a moment of normalcy during Christmas, and that’s worth discussing.

Once you move past the labels and the raised eyebrows, what’s left is something fairly old-fashioned, if everybody kept their clothes on. A room full of people, a clear goal, and a steady flow of money moving toward kids who need it.

Over the course of a single night, what unfolded was less spectacle than momentum, with donations stacking up quickly and consistently as the evening went on.

Maybe the guys enjoying the show also have some guilt, but that’s a whole ‘nother story…

SOURCE 

Over four hours on Tuesday night — through a combination of lap dances, live music, comic skits and auctions — Portland’s strippers and burlesque performers raised more than $60,000 for patients at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital.

It was a new record for the stage show Tatas for Toys, which has now donated more than $243,000 worth of new toys to the hospital since 2011.

Twin 24-foot poles graced the stage of the sold-out show at the 400-seat Alberta Rose Theatre. In two shifts, about 30 dancers put on a Jerry Lewis telethon–style variety show that encouraged audience members to toss their dollar bills on stage for a good cause. Online viewers were also able to donate through the streaming platform Twitch.

The mixed-gender crowd was generous, and by 9:30 p.m., the dancers had raised $28,000.

Shortly after 10 p.m., the tally hit $40,000. That was after the auction of a “sex on the beach” vacation package to Manzanita sold for $1,800, and a VIP tour of seven Portland strip clubs went for $2,700.

“What a night to be in Portland, Oregon,” said co-host Aaron Ross. “What a night to be a stripper!”

By 10:30 p.m., the fundraising total exceeded $58,000.

Local reporting makes it clear that this was the most successful version of the event they have ever pulled off, both in what was raised that night and in what it has added up to over time.

SOURCE

By the end of the night, organizers confirmed more than $60,000 had been raised, making it the most successful edition in the show’s 15-year history and lifting the cumulative total donated since 2011 to more than $250,000.

The beneficiary is Doernbecher Children’s Hospital, where funds and toys support the hospital’s Child Life Therapy Program. The program uses play, education, and creative activities to help young patients cope with long hospital stays and serious medical procedures.

Roughly 30 performers rotated through two shifts onstage, encouraging the mixed-gender crowd to throw cash toward the stage while online viewers contributed through Twitch.

According to leadership at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital, this fundraiser has now become the single largest source of toy donations they receive.

SOURCE

As I mentioned earlier, there’s also a practical reason children’s causes show up so often in this space. A significant share of women working in the sex trade are mothers… actually, research estimates that anywhere from roughly two-thirds to more than ninety percent of sex workers have children, depending on the region and the study. When people are raising kids, especially while working in this line of work, their sense of responsibility tends to narrow around one thing.

SOURCE

Research estimates that the proportion of sex workers who are mothers can range from 68 to 93%, parenting millions of children (McCloskey et al., 2021; Praimkumara & Goh, 2016; Rolon et al., 2013; Sloss & Harper, 2004; Willis et al., 2016). The notable intersection between parenthood and sex work merits further inquiry due to the multiple vulnerabilities SWP may face. Mothers, being both parents and women, face additional surveillance from social media, their interpersonal relationships, and from within themselves as they attempt to uphold unattainable expectations of parenthood (Henderson et al., 2010). In particular, the children of Black mothers remain overrepresented at multiple decision-making points within the child welfare system suggesting that racial bias and social judgments weigh heavier on more marginalized communities (Detlaff et al., 2011).

For many sex-worker mothers, guilt is part of their day to day. It comes from stigma, fear, and the strain of supporting their children while trying to keep them insulated from the work.

SOURCE

Sex worker mothers commonly experience significant guilt stemming from societal stigma, the fear of their children being removed by social services, and the practical challenges of balancing work and childcare. This guilt is often compounded by financial stress and the judgement they face from the community, partners, and institutions.
Sources and Drivers of Guilt
Societal Stigma: The deeply conflicting societal ideals of “sex worker” and “good mother” create intense internal and external pressure. Mothers may internalize these negative stereotypes, leading to feelings of shame, inadequacy, and guilt.
Fear of Child Removal: A primary source of anxiety and guilt is the fear that social services or family courts will remove their children if their profession is discovered. This fear can prevent them from seeking help for domestic abuse, mental health issues, or other challenges, making them more vulnerable.
Balancing Work and Family Life: Similar to other working mothers, sex workers struggle with work-life balance, but they face unique issues such as arranging discreet childcare, especially for night shifts. The financial strain of childcare often means they have to work longer hours, leading to separation anxiety and feelings of loss when away from their children.
Secrecy and Disclosure: Mothers often feel the need to hide their work from their children to protect them from “courtesy stigma” and potential harm, which requires maintaining a degree of dishonesty or secrecy in the home.

Many of these women are dancing, performing, and sometimes physical with married men. In reality, they could be the reason a family unit falls apart. Is that another reason why they’re so charity-driven?

DEBRIEFING

Research on sex workers consistently points to one very noticeable pattern of generosity that is practical, not abstract. Many contribute informally, support one another directly, and focus their donations on children’s causes, family needs, and crisis situations. The giving is often quiet and personal, not routed through large institutions or framed as charity in the traditional sense.

What also stands out is how effective they are when they do organize. Women in this line of work understand attention, audiences, and cash flow, and they know how to turn those dynamics into real money for causes they care about. When children or families are involved, that combination tends to produce rapid, concentrated results.

Whether it comes from a big heart, fast-moving cash, or complicated personal reasons and piles of guilt and regret, the outcome matters most. Kids who need it are getting support, and at Christmas, that still counts.

NOW YOU KNOW

You don’t have to like the source to recognize the result.