Leftists often tell us that if we don’t vote for the communists and radical Islamists, we’re racist xenophobes, and that if we don’t give a confused child hormone blockers, he’ll kill himself. This is another example of their reliance on Logical Fallacies—in these examples, the “fallacy of the excluded middle,” which states that either one proposition or its negation is true, a false dichotomy that presumes only extremes exist, while the nuanced center is sidelined.

Then, leftists make demands or accusations based on empathy generated by the fallacy of the excluded middle. This empathy abuse is a raw quest for power behind a veneer of virtue signaling.

Image created using AI.

Conservatives know that true empathy is not boundless sentiment but a disciplined virtue, tempered by personal responsibility, moral clarity, and communal duty. One can be empathetic without veering between the extremes of excess and absence. On one hand, “toxic empathy” saps the soul and body, and on the other, a societal “death of empathy” breeds isolation. Principled compassion upholds justice without self-erasure.

Toxic empathy arises when genuine concern evolves into emotional parasitism, devouring one’s well-being. It’s seen when someone becomes exhausted after habitually aiding undeserving family, friends, or colleagues. Caregivers may have chronic fatigue, feelings of anxiety or depression, or even physical ailments such as headaches. They may neglect their own needs because they’re so focused on helping others. Children may sometimes be conditioned to believe that love hinges on caretaking, or the cultural glorification of self-sacrifice, which fosters dependency rather than resilience.

Toxic empathy can lead to condoning sin, such as sexual immorality or questionable financial dealings. It can lead to validating lies, such as the alleged superiority of socialism, and it can lead to supporting destructive policies, such as leftist immigration and crime policies.

We sympathize with the fleeing citizens of failed states, but we forget about our own citizens who are then forced to live alongside those who do not share their values or wish to assimilate. We may feel bad for an illegal alien who’s looking for work, but should we care more for him than we do for the Jocelyn Nungarys and Rachel Morins? It’s sad that a man may (claim to) be confused about his gender, but what about the women and girls who are forced to share locker rooms and showers with him? It’s an unfortunate reality that some people are imprisoned for the crimes they’ve committed, but how do soft-on-crime policies improve the lives of average citizens?

Societal consequences can be severe, eroding people’s mental health through anxiety, depression, and even identity loss. Relationships may strain under resentment, as the over-functioning giver begins to resent the takers. Society often rewards performative compassion that overlooks the root causes, such as personal accountability. This mirrors a broader cultural malaise: a victimhood ethos that prioritizes feelings over facts and undermines the self-reliance Tocqueville praised in America’s voluntary associations. Without boundaries, empathy toxifies into codependency, leaving individuals depleted and communities enfeebled.

Conversely, the decline of empathy signals a chilling societal atrophy, where indifference replaces connection. Fueled by the isolating grip of technology, the data show a significant drop in empathy among youth. Social media echo chambers normalize cyberbullying and flash mobs that target political opponents. This degree of individualism frays communal bonds, spiking loneliness, violence, and distrust. When tribalism trumps shared humanity, mental health epidemics surge, especially among white liberal women. These are the bitter fruits of moral relativism’s triumph over the enduring truths of family, faith, and country.

Here’s where the destruction of the excluded middle appears: debates polarize empathy as either a smothering toxin or absent cruelty, eclipsing the golden mean. Conservatives advocate for healthy empathy, which is neither indulgent nor aloof, but discerning. Witness a parent’s firm guidance or a church’s charitable aid. It validates suffering and fosters a mutual uplift without enabling vice.

Reviving this balance demands that we reclaim traditional anchors:

Get off the internet and talk to people face-to-face. (As Charlie Kirk did.)

Cultivate boundaries and learn how to say no.

Utilize “The Oxygen Mask Principle” so you’re better able to help others.

Schools and legislators should embed moral education, not just vague “emotional literacy”, but the formation of virtue and perspectives rooted in Judeo-Christian ethics.

Communities, based on families and congregations, must model accountable compassion.

The proper use of accountability can help heal our society. We are not called to empathy, but to love. 1 Corinthians 13:6 tells us that love never rejoices in sin, but in truth. By rejecting extremes for measured grace, we honor the command to “love thy neighbor as thyself” wisely, without waste and without enabling dysfunction. In this centered path lies humanity’s hope, not in fleeting feels, but in fortified, balanced hearts.