“Minnesota: come for the high taxes, stay for the road construction!”

In case you can’t tell, I am working on a new tourism slogan for the North Star State. Another one: “Minnesota: come for the mosquitoes and zebra mussels, stay for the insane leftist policies!” No? How about: “Minnesota: come for the deer ticks/Lyme disease, stay for the incredibly bad weather!” That doesn’t float your boat, either?

Speaking of boats, Minnesota has a ton of them, atop many of its 10,000 (actually 11,842) lakes. It is a physically diverse and beautiful state. Some of its vistas are breathtaking. The air used to be clean—before the toxic Canadian wildfire smoke that is now ubiquitous—and the fishing is great. And yet...

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It now appears possible, if not likely, that a radical Muslim Marxist will soon be mayor of Minneapolis, the state’s biggest city. The once vibrant town that was called “The City of Lakes” is now “The City of Leftists.”

The Twin Cities area is host to a large and growing population of Muslims. Yet it also sports one of the largest LGBTQ communities in the United States. Something will have to give there, sometime. And now the always liberal city seems to be on its way to being overrun with Marxists. Is it not bad enough that it sparked the George Floyd riots?

Minnesota was once the land of “Minnesota Nice,” where people could live “the good life” as per a Time Magazine cover with the then-governor Wendel Anderson pictured in a boat holding up a northern pike.

And now it is known for Rep. Ilhan Omar and Gov. “Tampon” Timmy Walz. Moreover, it is an abortion sanctuary, a transgender sanctuary, and an illegal alien sanctuary. That is an immoral trifecta if I’ve ever seen one.

So, speaking of zebra mussels—and in keeping with the hyper-inclusive ‘sanctuary’ theme— propose the governor officially and proudly pronounce the state to be an “invasive species sanctuary.”

“Minnesota: come for the Eurasian milfoil and round goby, stay for Omar Fateh and Ilhan Omar!”

Now that’s nice, comrade!