Note: The following story contains satire.

I’ve been living for this moment. Ok, not really. Mark Cuban, of Shark Tank and Dallas Mavericks fame, has officially joined the ranks of hundreds of millions of other Americans who are not running for president in 2028. Well, darn!

Here’s more. (READ)

Tens of people (including me) thought he was using his cringey ‘Principles First Summit’ to test the presidential waters. Apparently, he stuck his toe in and screamed, ‘Too cold!’

People that lie for a living leading a summit called Principles First. 😂 pic.twitter.com/5KK8ytwacv

— Infinite Insight (@1nfinite1nsight) February 18, 2025

It’s probably smart to not blow billions on a failed presidential campaign as a Democrat candidate right now. I have to agree with posters who say the Dems are going to be checked out for a while.

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Good because it would be a waste of time for him. Democrats will never be back in charge….

— Marc Thorn🇺🇸 (@Marc_Thorn1984) February 22, 2025

Don’t get cocky, they can and will. It always happens.

— Denise (@EmeraldH2oGal) February 22, 2025

Nah I am afraid its blatantly obvious the country has shifted right.

— J (@insider_alabama) February 22, 2025

Some commenters were horrified of Cuban and his studious, Rhodes scholar, lesbian aesthetic being in the White House. 

Oh, thank god, I was so worried, that the Rachel Maddow look a like was going to run for president. 🥴🙄

— 🚛Based Trucker 🇺🇸 (@BaldyHonest) February 22, 2025

Nobody wants to elect Rachel Maddow as Prez!

— The Kosher Red Pill (@KosherRedPill) February 22, 2025

Cuban wouldn’t have stood a chance but we can still dream of Rachel Maddow being the official decoy of President Mark Cuban. The resemblance is uncanny. See if you agree. (WATCH)

It’s getting to the point where I can’t tell Mark Cuban from Rachel Maddow. pic.twitter.com/mL5xtEjWdF

— Dr. Jebra Faushay (@JebraFaushay) November 5, 2024

The Kamala Harris campaign has told Rachel Maddow Wannabe Mark Cuban to shut the f*ck up and stop doing interviews for them.😂 pic.twitter.com/7hBGnquYz5

— Vince Langman (@LangmanVince) November 1, 2024

Temu Maddow knows he’d lose bigly.

— Nu Nyo (@Nu_Ny0) February 22, 2025

In the lead-up to the the 2024 presidential election, Cuban was ranting on X daily proving extreme wealth doesn’t equate to intelligence.

That said, Cuban is smart enough to know his soy-riddled persona would be no match for presumed Republican presidential nominee, JD Vance.

He would be the perfect beta male to run for the Democrat party.

— Blaine Gilbert (@BlaineGilb77537) February 22, 2025

Awww why not? We’d love to see get steamrolled by JD Vance live on the debate stage!

— Professional Heckler (@pro_heckler) February 22, 2025

Would be a waste of time pic.twitter.com/9wK1jEXocT

— @APXAUTHENTIC (@realTakeYourL) February 22, 2025

Commenters have some closing thoughts and observations.

5 people are sad somewhere.

— Michael Allen (@ElvisKnevil) February 22, 2025

Well we really dodged a bullet on that one. 🙄

— 🇺🇸Joe’s Watch🇺🇸 (He/Haw) (@PaTroll21) February 22, 2025

Yeah he’d get cooked like kam kam did

— scooter_mcgavin (@oncue67) February 22, 2025

He must have determined that not even his family would vote for him.

— Rikkor88 (@Benno888) February 22, 2025

Good because he wouldn’t have a snowballs chance of winning.

— Patty Sopko (@PattySopko1) February 22, 2025

Too bad. I’d love to see him embarrass himself even more than he already has.

— Bill Gensler (@billgensler) February 22, 2025

Don’t fret, Cuban has years of embarrassment ahead of him. Alas, it won’t be as a Democrat Party presidential nominee in 2028. Still, there's always 2032.