Pro Shoppers Only: Kicking the Clueless Out of the Store Till Christmas

twitchy.com

I did not come up with this idea, but I plan to do my best to spread the good word about it. 

Mary is four centimeters dilated. She is about to go into hard labor and anything you need at the store at this point requires strategic action. Now is the time for professional shoppers only. Only people who know how self check-out works, the layout of the store and how to move their buggies to the side and not block the full aisle. Period. 

For example, this is an example of someone who cannot thrive in a store setting right now. We need people who know the system and can activate it well. Not randos who will be on their phones, walking slowly and reading all the boxes. 

Those of us responsible for cooking full meals for large groups of people would appreciate the single men going through the drive through and using the dollar menu until Christmas Day. Ordering in Chinese is also a good option. Be careful to tip well. 

This is why men can't be in the grocery store. 

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It may be a man or it may be a woman, but it has to be a pro shopper. No novices. It's not safe, for many reasons. 

This phenomenon becomes much much worse at the holidays. Amateur men walk into the grocery and see all the lights and tinsel and twinkly things, and they lose their good sense. 

See, the men should have been at home and if there is a last minute issue, don't send them alone. Ladies, you owe the rest of civilization to keep your men at home and out of our way. This also includes Homegoods, TJMaxx and Marshals