Dear Canada: Keep 'Boycotting' Florida. We're Still Packed and Winning Stanley Cups

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I'm a native Floridian and people who don't live here, particularly Leftists, make whole careers of hating on Florida. They so badly want to convince themselves Florida is really a bad place to live. Listen, it's fine if you don't like Florida. You don't have to make up reasons to hate. 

Very specifically, Canadians love to pretend they hate Florida. As a Floridian, they are lying. During Canadian winter, they flock here and our doctor's offices are FULL of them. They are seeking healthcare for ailments they would wait for years to address under their socialized medical system. They claim a bunch of them didn't come this year because we're bigots or something, but I'm here to testify, there are still too many of them here. Not enough of them stayed home. 

Of course, Governor DeSantis, consummate Florida Man, made sure to correct them. He clarified there are more tourists than ever (if you try to drive around here, that is fully believable) and even though it feels like the surface of the sun here most times, we beat Canada in hockey all the time. Like, we can't stop winning The Stanley Cup in Florida. If I didn't know better, I would think the trophy purposely sabotages all other teams to ensure it stays in Florida where it is warm, pleasant and people can't smoke weed in public. Also, we can run over protestors who block the roads. That's quite a nice benefit, actually. 

We absolutely don't. It's hot here. People often don't wear many clothes. No one wants to see Doug Ford with very little clothing. Let's just be honest. 

Just to be clear, it would be fantastic for the numbers to continue to dwindle.

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As I was saying.

The Left hates all these things which is why they constantly disparage Florida. Let them hate. We will continue to thrive.