Yes, it really is that ugly

Obama Presidential Center

The Barack Obama Presidential Center is finally open to the public. The Obamas threw themselves an invite-only launch party on Thursday with all of their celebrity friends. All the living former presidents showed up with their spouses. Joe Biden was also there.

Here are six things we learned:

(Scott Olson/Getty Images)

1) It really is that ugly.

The primary edifice, sometimes called the Obamalisk, is a hulking gray tower that appears to have been based on a model that just won third prize in a middle-school architecture competition for gifted nerds. One of the architects who had put up with Obama scolding him to "go bigger" suggested the American people should view it as "their Washington Monument," which accurately reflects the 44th president's towering self-regard.

"I hope this center will serve as an affirmation of just how special, how precious, our democracy truly is," Obama told celebrities who gathered to honor him on Thursday. The Wall Street Journal observed that the colossal "vanity project" was rather ill-suited as a monument to a democratically elected leader who hasn't died yet, but would be "fitting and proper" for other categories of rulers, such as Egyptian pharaoh, Roman emperor, or tin-pot dictator.

(Scott Olson/Getty Images)

2) It was built on stolen land.

Former Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett, who makes $740,000 as CEO of the Obama Foundation, kicked things off by recognizing the "original inhabitants" of the stolen land on which the center now looms over the poverty-stricken neighborhood whose residents will soon be priced out due to gentrification.

"We honor the Anishinaabe, the Council of Three Fires, the Ojibwe, the Odawa, and the Potawatomi nations," Jarrett said. The Obama Foundation does not appear to have any plans to return the land to its rightful owners, but the audience clapped in solidarity with the performative gesture. How touching.

(Scott Olson/Getty Images)

3) Joe Biden needs a more attentive minder.

Sleepy Joe was up to old tricks at the opening ceremony. The event was over, his fellow dignitaries were backstage, and the crowd was starting to leave. Doing what comes naturally, Biden wandered over to the podium, removed his aviators and shouted, "Where's my granddaughter?" Dr. Jill Biden hustled back to the stage to retrieve him, having clearly neglected her duties as a credentialed medical professional.

4) Hillary Clinton can't get wet for some reason.

What's the deal with Hillary's outfit? Everyone else was dressed in normal clothes, while the former first lady wore a shapeless double-breasted raincoat and wide-brim floppy hat. For whatever reason, she took extraordinary precautions in an effort to stay dry. It's certainly plausible that Hillary has finally embraced the marvels of modern exoskeleton technology to enhance mobility in old age. That could explain the bulky attire, and her apparent concern that rain might damage the bionic components and void the warranty.

Hillary has struggled with mobility since at least June 2014, when she appeared on the cover of People magazine leaning against what many described as an "old person's walker."

(Scott Olson/Getty Images)

5) Tom Hanks is a national treasure.

The Hollywood legend could hardly contain his displeasure when MS NOW correspondent Jacob Soboroff, son of a wealthy Los Angeles real estate developer, interrupted his schmoozing to ask him about how it felt to be in the presence of greatness. "Alright, what can I do for the 800 people watching MS NOW?" the actor barked.

"Oh, come on," Soboroff whined. "We're live on MS NOW." Hanks told him he could "add a zero to it" if that would make him happier. While hilarious, Hanks's roast was not accurate. MS NOW averaged almost 700,000 total day viewers in the first quarter of 2026, although the vast majority of those "viewers" were bedridden seniors whose home health care workers forgot to turn the TV off while they napped.

(Scott Olson/Getty Images)

6) The Obamas are finally giving themselves the credit they deserve.

It was nice to see them take some time to celebrate themselves for once, and to push back against critics who accuse them of being obsessed with making money and hanging out with other famous people. ABC's Robin Roberts asked the former first couple to describe their next chapter using a single word. Barack chose "fun," while Michelle said "me."

They have blessed this country with their humility and grace. Now it's time to let them enjoy their massive fortune, the collection of mansions, and celebrity friendships. It's on us, America, to prove ourselves worthy of their sacrifice.