KANSAS CITY, MO — Tragedy struck in a local barbershop today, as a man realized just 45 seconds into getting his haircut that he had already run out of all conversation topics.

The incident occurred Saturday afternoon at The Upper Cut, as customer Dave Greeble ran dry on small talk subjects while his barber was still in the very early stages of cutting his hair.

"So, uh… hm…," Greeble was heard saying shortly after the haircut began.

He had already commented on the weather, the World Series, and the movie Die Hard, which were the only conversation topics he had prepared beforehand. "I went empty," he later explained. "I had exhausted every potential subject I could think of, and she had barely finished spraying my hair down with her water bottle. It was then that I knew we were in for a long haircut."

Customers waiting at the shop reported witnessing nothing but endless awkward silence for the remaining 30 minutes of Greeble's haircut. "You could tell both of them were slowly dying," one man said. "It was hard to watch. I felt bad for them, but you've got to come in with more conversation topics than that. That's rookie stuff."

Greeble's haircut was finally complete, with him and the barber reportedly exchanging one final awkward nod of their heads as he paid for the visit. "Yeah, we're all pretty sure he'll never show his face here again," said another customer.

At publishing time, Greeble had put his house up for sale and planned to move to another state to find another place to get his hair cut and minimize any risk of bumping into that same barber ever again.

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