CLAREMONT, NH — Local man Roger Taft, despite owning several mugs declaring him to be the world's greatest dad, has reportedly not even cracked the top five.

Taft, father of a five-year-old and six-month old, supposedly ascended to the very peak of the rankings of great dads, according to multiple gifts and notes. However, according to experts, those claims are patently false.

"Roger is maybe the tenth greatest dad in the world, at best," said sociologist Dr. Friedrich Ablinger. "He has never reached the top five, and isn't even in the conversation for the top spot. He's a phenomenal dad, but to say that Roger is the world's greatest dad is as audacious as it is false."

The assessment came after an independent panel of children, grandparents, youth pastors, and one somewhat judgmental Little League coach released its annual Father Power Rankings. "No. That's a lie. Taft sits on a throne of lies," said the group's spokesman, Kevin Beam. "Don't get me wrong, Taft is great, but he's barely top-ten material. Any statement to the contrary is, quite simply, hogwash."

At publishing time, Taft's own child had put Batman, Patrick Mahomes, and Bluey's dad ahead of his father in the rankings.

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