RALEIGH, NC — A passenger plane tragically crashed on the outskirts of Raleigh on Friday afternoon after no one told any of the passengers on board to "fly safe."

United Airlines flight 142 took off from Raleigh-Durham International Airport at 3:29 this afternoon, ascending to 7,000 feet before neglecting to fly safe, leading to a deadly crash.

"This was a preventable tragedy," said FAA spokesman Trevor Bingham. "If one person — just one person — had been told to fly safe, this terrible catastrophe could have been avoided. Someone on board would have remembered not to fly dangerously, and all 73 people would still be alive today. Let this senseless loss of life remind all of us to never forget to tell our friends and family to ‘fly safe.'"

According to the initial investigation, a nearby control tower received a distress signal just minutes into United 142's flight. "The pilot just kept screaming, ‘In what manner am I supposed to fly?' It was a disaster," said air traffic controller Mitch Kennedy. "We could see him doing barrel roll after barrel roll and loop-de-loops. The crash was inevitable. He did fly safe. Nobody told him to."

At publishing time, several people in Scandinavia had reportedly frozen to death after no one told them to "stay warm."

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