BANGOR, ME — In the wake of the Democratic nominee suspending his Senate campaign, local Nazi Wade Marks expressed regret over getting his Graham Platner tattoo.

Marks reportedly obtained the chest tattoo after a drunken evening down at the Nazi hangout, but maintained that he didn't know the dark meaning of Graham Platner.

"It really makes me look bad," sighed Marks. "I'm telling you, I didn't know at the time what a tattoo of Graham Platner really meant, how bad it was. I would never have done it. I'm thinking about getting a massive swastika tattoo to cover it up and restore my good name."

According to his fellow Nazis, Marks had become somewhat of a pariah due to the tattoo. "It's pretty disturbing, a Platner tattoo," said fellow Nazi Matt Kitchens. "I know Wade says he didn't know better, but come on, man. That shows a serious lack of judgment. He's giving us Nazis a bad name, to be frank. Hopefully, he'll own up to his mistake and do something to get it fixed."

At publishing time, Marks had gotten a new tattoo of a totenkopf to cover up his Platner tattoo.

Babylon Bee subscriber David Raphael contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

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