Vacation Bible School season is upon us once again, and you may have noticed that every denomination has its own special twist on how to engage elementary-age kiddos. The Babylon Bee has surveyed the country, and here are the most popular VBS themes for each denomination:

Prosperity Gospel: "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?":

Name it and claim it, little ones.

Calvinist: "Hooked On Depravity: A Completely Wicked, Totally Depraved Summer":

The kids couldn't be more excited.

Catholic: "Alcoholics Anonymous":

It's never too early to start.

Non-denominational: "SUPER EXPLODING MARS ROCKET UNDERWATER JESUS PARTY":

VBS just got turned up to "11".

Mennonite: No VBS this year, Jethro. We must raise the barn:

Sorry, Jethro.

ELCA Lutheran: "Saddle Up For A Sexuality Safari":

For Kindergarten and up.

Southern Baptist: "Escape From Hell"

Yeesh. Better not miss this one.

Presbyterian: "Arctic Adventure: Frozen In Place For Jesus"

Episcopalians: Haha we don't have VBS all our churches are dying:

Sad.

Anglicans:

Huzzah!

It's going to be a great VBS season, parents. Get excited!

After a slight mixup, Steve, Timpani, and Britunni end up at the Alamo instead of the Alamo Car Rental. Protestors block their way out and Timpani is going into labor!