MOBILE, AL — After surviving five consecutive days of "Jungle Quest: Following Jesus Into The Wild" just last month, local children Kate and Brayden Maxwell were reportedly sentenced by their parents to serve another week in the jungle at yet another Vacation Bible School across town.

Parents Michael and Rachel Maxwell defended the additional week of childhood VBS incarceration, stating that the punishment clearly fit the crime.

"You do the crime, you do the time," said Mrs. Maxwell. "They spend all week learning about Jesus and come out still fighting like animals. The rate of instant recidivism into abject sin still stands at one hundred percent. They'll keep going back until it sticks, and if that gives me more time to shop at Target, that's the Lord's providence."

The children, for their part, described the week-long sentence as overly severe and cruel. "How many times must I go on a safari for Jesus?" cried Kate, age 8. "Every day, it's the same punch and crackers. I've lost all sense of time. I've had to start carving marks into the pews to keep track of the days. This can't go on."

At publishing time, the Maxwells had informed their kids that after another week, they might be paroled to basketball camp on good behavior.

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