TUCSON, AZ — Local man Jeremy Briggs sadly discovered this week that his wife's Amazon purchases single-handedly funded billionaire Jeff Bezos's elaborate Italian wedding.

"I wasn't surprised, just disappointed," said Briggs. "Man, that wedding sure looked nice."

Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez wed this week in a lavish Italian ceremony attended by political and Hollywood royalty. Guests included Oprah Winfrey, Ivanka Trump, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Usher. Jeremy Briggs said he was a little offended not to receive an invitation.

"I know it was our money that pretty much funded that entire thing," he told reporters. "We have Amazon packages showing up every single day at our house. Yesterday, I saw Laura had ordered $200 worth of light bulbs, just ‘so we don't run out'. That probably paid for a few of the napkins."

At publishing time, 15 new packages had appeared on the Briggs's front porch, none of which included a thank you note from Bezos, much to Jeremy Briggs's dismay.

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