Elmo Decries Defunding Of PBS As A Jewish Conspiracy

babylonbee.com

U.S. — Longtime Sesame Street resident Elmo decried the federal government's defunding of PBS as an "obvious Jewish conpsiracy."

In a special edition of Elmo's World, the iconic red puppet unleashed a 40-minute tirade blaming the Jewish people for a laundry list of world issues.

"Elmo knows who's responsible! Hee-hee!" said Elmo, furiously banging his goldfish bowl. "Elmo knows who controls the flow of money! Oh, oh, look, everyone. Dorothy the goldfish has a question! Dorothy wants to know which members of Congress are controlled by AIPAC! Ha-ha-ha!"

The disturbing rant initially featured Elmo calling the PBS defunding a Jewish plot, but quickly descended into inculpating the Jewish people for all of history's wars. "Oh! Elmo wants to ask where the number six million really comes from for the Holocaust!" said Elmo. "Hee-hee-hee. Elmo just asking questions! Oh, oh! Now that Elmo start asking questions about Holocaust, PBS loses its funding! Elmo thinks he knows how this works, hee-hee-hee!"

At publishing time, Elmo had reportedly flushed Dorothy down the toilet after becoming suspicious of her last name "Goldfish."


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