SCOTTSBLUFF, NE — Civilization was feared to have been thrown into turmoil after a local man failed to tweet about the current thing.

Following the advent of instant global telecommunications, when everyone around the world became able to see and talk about the current thing, experts said the one thing that keeps human civilization humming along is that every human is expected to respond to the current thing at all times. Apparently, Dave Bennington did not get that memo, as he failed to tweet about the new thing.

"I just didn't think it was such a big deal," Bennington said. "But then everyone kept bugging me about why I didn't say anything about it. Then Trump made a statement about it, and now everybody is supposed to pick a side. It just keeps coming back into the news cycle for some reason. I just don't have any opinion on it."

Experts on the rise and fall of civilizations believe that if the social contract that everyone must react to the current thing is violated by even a small number of free-thinking, nuanced individuals, then the world as we know it could come crumbling down.

"Everyone must talk about the current thing," said social scientist Dr. Johan Kuiyper. "Our civilization is a careful balancing act of 24/7 outrage cycles, base tribalism, and instant hot takes. Without this feedback loop reinforcing our culture, civilization is doomed. The current thing must be tweeted about."

At publishing time, Bennington had been hauled in for questioning by authorities under suspicion that he was a dangerous extremist because he had no opinion about the current thing.

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