It's not easy for girls to win a track meet in California these days, what with dudes now allowed to compete. But there is hope! Here are eight hacks young ladies can use against their male competitors to still come out victorious on the track:

Yell "Look, free steak!" right when the race starts: Guaranteed 10-second head start.

Add a bump on top of the hurdles, riiiight in the middle: Good luck, fellas.

Identify as a "person-with-jetpack-strapped to-their-back-sexual": Let no bigot come between you and your jetpack.

Put a cool stick in the middle of the track: Biological men cannot help but stop and pick up a cool stick.

Dress up so you look like J.K. Rowling: They will collapse in tears before the race even begins.

Add a competition for finding something in the fridge: The gold is as good as yours.

Wear ACME jet roller-skates like Wile E. Coyote: See you at the finish, boys.

Take a bunch of testosterone so you can run faster: Pretty straightforward, really.

You can do this, ladies. Now go get the gold!

These British police officers are keeping the streets safe from dangerous weapons.