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Any founding document written in the 1700s could use a little updating, no? Yes, there may have been amendments over the years, but not nearly as many as the country needs.

The Babylon Bee has come up with the following helpful list of new amendments the Constitution desperately needs:

The right to run over bicyclists: It is not man who grants this right. It's God.

All Major League Baseball players must be born in the United States: This will also contract the league to only 3 teams.

Prohibition of live-action Disney remakes: To avoid corrupting future generations.

The right to bear larger, even more powerful arms: As the Founding Fathers intended.

Failure to return shopping carts to the corral will be punishable by death: No exceptions.

The right to an affordable A-10 Warthog: Some of these are just basic common sense

Reaching a minimum score on an IQ test will be required to vote: Sorry, Katy Perry.

All future candidates for president must have a pulse: It's best to have this clarified once and for all.

Libertarians shall be required to read at least one book other than Atlas Shrugged: Just one more book. Literally any other one.

All presidents shall be appointed by all-powerful federal judges: This will more closely reflect the nation's current hierarchy of power.

You add the list of amendments above to the Constitution, and you're looking at a far more modern America. What other amendments should be added? Add your proposals in the comments below.

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