Father's Day: In praise of fathers

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On Father’s Day, we take a moment to acknowledge our personal role as fathers; as sons of our own fathers, or as grandfathers, step-fathers, and many other ways a man is placed in that capacity, and can recognize it in others.

It isn’t easy, and I can attest to some notable failures of my own, but those difficulties also make you think about the vulnerability of fathering, along with how important it is, and why you have to keep going, persevering, correcting and growing into the role God has given you.

That demonstrates another aspect of fathers: their position that is situated between mortal responsibilities, and spiritual aspirations that others must be able to see. That requires some humility, and some perspective that acknowledges where much of your power comes from. It isn’t just from yourself, but from the way you act through the relationship you establish with your Lord, in whatever faith you follow.

Besides the personal dimension of being a father, there is also the larger social and political one of how a man draws from the power of the father image, and its significance to so many other people: that’s something I didn't fully understand when I was younger.

A good president or leader of a country can also be a certain kind of father—not a parent, but a role model of generosity in spirit and compassion, along with discipline, some tough love, the setting of higher expectations, and thereby encouraging initiative and self-reliance. He can also inspire, even if some of that inspiration comes from recognizing the all-too-human aspect of fatherly imperfection. That makes others develop their own empathy and generosity, and the ability to forgive. Fathering is a two-way relationship in that regard.

As we step back and assess how our own country is doing, it seems obvious that it needs more fathers. Whether that’s in the home, at work, school, or in politics, fathers in many ways make up the backbone of social order, including the ability to fight and defend.

But in national politics, the progressive Left especially, relies rather on a “parent” model, and citizens are thought to be eternal children who need their guidance. It leads to delayed adulthood, if not regression to infantile behavior, which we can see across the Left’s constituency, including in our universities. It creates an unhealthy bond of political dependency, which is just what bad political figures want (and partly explains the purpose of illegal immigrants)

Good fathers know that their greatest gift is smartly encouraging others to stand up, and take on responsibility with their own powers of mind and will, and do so with a happy heart. That makes good fathers natural “classicists” because they instinctively follow Aristotle’s ancient teachings of the virtues. Classical Greek philosophy’s virtues are based on self-determination, and the balancing of logos (logic), pathos (emotion), and ethos (credibility) leading to telos, or full human potential and purpose. Those values can only come from an independent self-directed life. Wise fathers instinctively know that, usually through their own work.

Without being unkind, we’ve had some pretty bad national, presidential father-figures. We’re fortunate to have one now who always praises the memory of his father—and his work ethic—versus turning memory into the false conceit of a “dream” that is used to justify a vengeful social cause. That includes the danger of letting personal grievance turn into anger and retribution. And that anger can infect whole sub-groups of societies which the US is now working to cure (as one writer described Obama’s book “Dreams From My Father,” it is full of “black rage” describing himself as "full of inarticulate resentments," "unruly maleness," and claiming a "withdrawal into a smaller and smaller coil of rage”).

That is a tragic failure in fatherhood because it stems from the line of real fathers being broken. Continuity in fatherhood is vital, even if that continuity has to be maintained by your own healthy principles of what it means to be a father, rather than letting “dreams” turn into nightmares that you act out on others, and poison their love with hate. That’s the easy way out, but not the way of strong men and fathers. I lost my own father at a young age, from cancer, but the time we had together gave me all I needed to strike out confidently on my own, while honoring his memory and life (and I was blessed much later with a principled step-father and father-in-law, both hard-working businessmen).

The concept of fathers also naturally invokes the “Founding Fathers” but there’s a good reason for that. By taking on such enormous risk and responsibility, and exploiting opportunity, the best of them transformed the limits of normal fathering, into a larger model of the father as a new nation’s leader, where “leader” means taking on an audacious goal, and being accountable for it.

There is an acronym that captures some of the qualities: VICE (a good mnemonic aid because leadership always has to overcome its human faults). It stands for vision, integrity, communication, and empathy. I’ve modified it to include veracity, intent, competence, and expectation. I think that gets more at what good fathers do: they demonstrate will. In this world we live in, sometimes that’s all we have, and all we need to have. In politics, a lack of will can be deadly, or disastrous.

Weakness and lack of will is always exploited by enemies and predators alike. The animal kingdom has figured it out. Humans can forget. Effective political leaders, and strong fathers, never do.

Matthew G. Andersson is a father, former chief executive and aircraft commander. He was a board member of Christian charity LifeLink, and a graduate of the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He has been featured in the National Academies of Science where he discussed leadership in science, technology and society.

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