Father’s Day Through the Void: Grief, Gratitude, and the Irreplaceable Role of Good Dads

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As a girl who is part of the 'Dead Dads Club', I am not a fan of Father's Day. I appreciate the respect it bestows on all of the good men out there though, so I do my best to stay off Social Media as much as possible and I cry a lot. 

Our society desperately needs good men, and they deserve to be celebrated and recognized. Far too many children in America are growing up without fathers, and the damage is profound. Part of the problem lies with a culture that has spent decades talking men down, telling them they are unnecessary, toxic, or even extraneous. But men must reject those lies. Strong, responsible, present fathers are irreplaceable. It’s time we honor the men who show up, provide, protect, and lead their families with integrity.

I raised my son alone, or, to be more precise, I reared him without his father.  I was incredibly blessed to be surrounded by a loving village that stepped in and held us both up: my parents, my aunts and uncles, my cousins, and so many faithful friends. I truly could not have done it without them.  

Even so, my son will always carry a gaping hole in his heart where his father should have been. People can surround that hole with love and support, but nothing and no one can truly fill it.  

If you are a father not participating in your child's life for any reason and you are reading this, I beg you to move mountains and change that. It won't be easy and there are probably lots of apologies owed, but humble yourself and go do it today. You won't be sorry. 

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If you are the child of an absent Father, commit to break those generational curses today. Go makes something of your life. Find love and create the family you needed. You are not broken and there is nothing wrong with you. You were let down. Now, you have the chance to pick yourself up. 

Fathers are the protectors. They walk the perimeter of their child’s life like quiet sentinels, keeping the darkness at bay. Since losing my Dad, it’s that deep, unspoken sense of safety I miss most. The world feels wider now. Colder. And I’ve never felt so exposed. 

Now I stand on that same perimeter alone, guarding what he left behind, wishing more than anything that he was still here to guard me. I miss my shield. I miss my Dad.