The America haters are doing everything they can to put a damper on people's enthusiasm for America's 250th birthday celebration this weekend. This editor will be working, but he'll probably take a quick break to light some sparklers on the deck with the kids.

Advertisement

As Twitchy reported earlier, The Washington Post reported on a scoop: Internal National Park Service modeling predicts the Trump administration's massive July 4th fireworks display will cause dangerous pollution around the Mall and “very unhealthy” conditions across central D.C. Funny how only President Trump's fireworks display has come with a warning like this. 

Nearby Arlington, Virginia, reminded everyone that fireworks, including sparklers, are illegal in the city, and residents should wait for the official City Birthday celebration on July 11. If you see a child holding a sparkler on Independence Day, you're urged to call 311 and report them to the authorities.

Fireworks are illegal in Alexandria, including sparklers. Report illegal fireworks by calling 311. Our show is next weekend. Join us for the City Birthday celebration on July 11 at Oronoco Bay Park. Free admission. More info at https://t.co/De5QV2xucz. pic.twitter.com/QP6nEwynmS

— AlexandriaVAGov (@AlexandriaVAGov) July 1, 2026

Oh, I’m sorry. I thought this was America.

— Dustin Grage (@GrageDustin) July 2, 2026

Get bent

— Vanessa (@Nessakins_) July 2, 2026

Anyone who reports on people setting off fireworks should be reported to @ICEgov

— Wade Miller (@WadeMiller) July 2, 2026

You suck.

— EducatëdHillbilly™ (@RobProvince) July 2, 2026

Get fucked, losers.

— Tater (@taternuggets) July 2, 2026

Recommended

Advertisement

Don't worry. Americans have a permit to celebrate our independence. pic.twitter.com/lJfrlC0h1Q

— Bama Chan (@HeardChanda) July 1, 2026

I know NOVA is full of stupid policies, but sparklers are illegal? What kind of unpatriotic crap is that? NOVA really is just the worst kind of government policies. pic.twitter.com/KuDW2pXU3p

— Brandon Angel (@Brandon_Angel34) July 1, 2026

"Hide the illegals from ICE and report your neighbors for sparklers!!!"

— Lord Bowler, Manhunter (@JamesLonefeathr) July 2, 2026

I don't even like fireworks, but at this point it's a patriotic requirement to piss off the tyrants.

— New Orleans Radical (@NOLA_Radical) July 2, 2026

Another city that's cracking down on shows of patriotism is Dearborn, Michigan, where police have announced a "zero tolerance" fireworks safety policy, as well as a curfew.

The City of Dearborn is implementing a “zero-tolerance” fireworks safety enforcement and a new temporary youth curfew for the 4th of July holiday weekend. https://t.co/JJco2zN4M2

— WXYZ Detroit (@wxyzdetroit) July 2, 2026

Remember when LA banned fireworks? Hopefully Dearborn residents give these tyrants the finger. pic.twitter.com/E930b2Md8z

— Kevin (@GFY_Trucking) July 2, 2026

Fuck you, this is America not your native shithole pic.twitter.com/INJNSPGtDq

— Calvin&Hoppes (@calvinandhoppes) July 2, 2026

What if they’re classified as IEDs?

— Virgil (@VirgilsQuill) July 2, 2026

Advertisement

Oh, a little patriotic 4th of July celebration that lasts for less than 30 minutes is haram, but 5 ear piercing daily prayers meant to intimidate the native white population is fine?!

— AnonymousAlpaca (@StimesJalen) July 2, 2026

May Dearborn have all the fireworks, patriotism, and curfew breaking they deserve. Get bent, Dearborn.

— UnPhilteredGuy (@UnPhilteredGuy) July 2, 2026

Majority Muslim city council doesn't want Americans celebrating our independence, what a surprise.

Call to prayer 5 times a day, every day, on loudspeakers? No problem!

Fireworks on 4th of July? ZERO TOLERANCE.

This is what happens when you let outside cultures pervert the… https://t.co/OERvNWsF6C

— Fenix Ammunition (@FenixAmmunition) July 2, 2026

"… fabric of your nation."

It looks like parts of Michigan have already been conquered; not a single protest or shot fired.

— BO Bogardus🇺🇸 (@bo_bogardus) July 2, 2026

pic.twitter.com/iAXUn9bOSW

— Logan Hall (@loganclarkhall) July 2, 2026

Sparklers are illegal? This is America's 250th … there will be fireworks.

***

Editor's Note: It’s America’s 250th birthday! Help Twitchy celebrate the greatest nation in history by honoring its past, defending its present, and preserving its future with reporting you can trust.

Join Twitchy VIP and use promo code AMERICA250 to receive 74% off your membership.