WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an emotional tribute to the fallen longtime South Carolina senator, President Donald Trump announced today the implementation of the "Lindsey Graham Memorial Strait of Hormuz Blockade."

Long a proponent of toppling the Iranian regime, Graham died suddenly over the weekend, leading to the outpouring of tributes and memorializations from leaders and politicians across the political spectrum, none of them more stirring than Trump's reinstitution of the blockade.

"It's what he would have wanted," Trump told reporters in the Oval Office. "We're going to miss Lindsey. Very much so. He was a great guy. A tremendous politician. And he always wanted to go to war with Iran, which we've been doing now for several months, as you know. ‘When are we going to annihilate Iran?' he would always ask me. But now that he's gone, we thought it would be a fitting way to honor him by putting the blockade back on and naming it after him. He really would have loved to have been here to see the oil prices skyrocketing again. It's very sad."

Administration officials expressed hope that the Lindsey Graham Memorial Strait of Hormuz Blockade would honor the late senator's life by bringing the U.S. back to the brink of all-out war with one of Graham's arch-enemies. "He might finally get what he wanted all along," one White House source said. "It brings a tear to my eye to picture Senator Graham looking down on the blockade, knowing that widespread death and destruction could soon follow."

At publishing time, Trump had ordered the U.S. military to spraypaint "For Lindsey" on all munitions being loaded up for tonight's bombing runs.

Rumors swirl about the current condition of Senator Mitch McConnell, but his staff have come out to say that even if he were dead he will still be able to finish his term.