WASHINGTON, D.C. — Members of the United States Secret Service were reportedly awestruck today, as they witnessed President Donald Trump performing the seemingly impossible feat of walking casually on a moderately sloped roof.

Trump took an impromptu stroll on the White House roof on Tuesday, blowing the minds of veteran Secret Service agents who had previously thought that no human being could ever be capable of surviving such a brazenly dangerous thing.

"How? How is that even possible?!" one Secret Service agent was heard gasping. "I've heard stories about how President Trump can do things no other mortal man can do, but I don't know if I really believed it… until now. He just… walked. On a moderately sloped roof. Just like it was nothing. We couldn't believe our eyes."

The president's rooftop walk was just the latest in a growing list of seemingly superhuman feats accomplished during his time in office. "He's not just a man," another agent said, still trying to regain his composure after what he witnessed. "Have you seen the slope of the White House roof? It's moderate. And here's the leader of the free world, just waltzing along like it's no big deal. They spent an entire week warning us about these types of roofs during our training. They're intraversable. But after today, I think this guy really can do anything."

At publishing time, the Secret Service had requested that Trump make a special appearance at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center to teach incoming recruits the secret to his amazing feat.

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