BROWNWOOD, TX — Local dad Grayson Kenny found his plan to work from home today utterly foiled by the people in his home.

Kenny was about to start responding to emails when his wife, Becca, "needed to talk" for just a minute, which quickly turned into half an hour. A sighing Kenny began working again, only for the internet to go down three minutes later when his toddler unplugged the router. Kenny had nearly fixed the router when his daughter came in, announcing that she had just been bitten by a snapping turtle down at the pond and needed to go to urgent care.

"Did you guys plan this?" asked Kenny. "Okay, listen. You all survive, somehow, when I'm not here. I understand that I am home, but I am actually working. Like, real work. It is happening even though I am here, at home. You really have to carry on as if I'm not here, I have to get these things done."

With that, Becca and the children all burst into tears. "You're just never around! You're always in the other room, and we never get to see you anymore!"

"What? You see me so much more than when I had an office job. I am literally right in the next room."

"No! It's not the same," wept Kenny's family. "We just want to be with you. Your daughter just wants to give you a hug! Is that too much to ask?"

At publishing time, Kenny had resigned himself to spending the next thirty minutes comforting his mourning family.

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