8 Ways Christopher Nolan’s ‘The Odyssey’ Diverges From Its Source Material

babylonbee.com

Brought to you by: RevelationMedia

Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey hits theaters on July 17, but it's bringing a few changes with it. Here are just a few ways the new film deviates from the classical story:

ORIGINAL: A bunch of Greek words.
NOLAN: Moving pictures plus sound.

ORIGINAL: Story told orally.
NOLAN: If you don't see it in 70mm IMAX, you're a loser who doesn't care about art.

ORIGINAL: Foundational text of Western Civilization.
NOLAN: Actually entertaining.

ORIGINAL: Perfectly articulated speech drives the narrative.
NOLAN: It's impossible to understand half of the characters.

ORIGINAL: Not preceded by Spider-Man trailer.
NOLAN: Preceded by Spider-Man trailer.

ORIGINAL: Athena dreams of an eagle killing her 20 pet geese.
NOLAN: Athena dreams of Leonardo DiCaprio engaging in a shootout while skiing away from mercenaries, but oh no, she died in the dream, and now she's stuck in limbo.

ORIGINAL: "Sing to me of the man, Muse, the man of twists and turns..."
NOLAN: "Odysseus is the hero we deserve, but not the one we need right now."

ORIGINAL: Odysseus is a man of legendary intellect and cunning.
NOLAN: Matt Damon.

Looks like The Odyssey could be unrecognizable to anyone who has actually read the epic poem. What other changes are you expecting? Post your predictions in the comments.

NOT SATIRE: Last Chance to Reserve Your Jar of Gospel-Sharing Honey!

Harvested by the Maasai tribes in the beautiful savannas of Kenya, every jar of Mission Honey supports the tribes' children's education. Even better, profits from the honey sales allow us to send invaluable Gospel resources to local missionaries working among the Maasai!

Through July 18, you can donate to RevelationMedia to reserve a 14-ounce jar of this delicious, all-natural honey! Supplies are limited, so get your jar from the first-ever batch of Mission Honey today.

Click here to get your honey and support the Maasai tribes now!

Rumors swirl about the current condition of Senator Mitch McConnell, but his staff have come out to say that even if he were dead he will still be able to finish his term.